I was at a Mothers’ Day celebration last month where some of these wise kids were in rare form. A group of ten preschool kids were asked to come to the front of the room and talk about what they did for their moms for Mother’s Day.
One girl said she made waffles for her mom in bed. Another girl said she picked some flowers for her mom. Yet another went to church with her mom. It was then that a stroke of wisdom emerged from the mouth of one of the five year olds, just when I least expected it.
It started when the man who was leading the conversation (his name is Kim) said we should be thankful for mothers. “After all, being a mother is usually pure joy, but it can also be stressful. That’s why moms sometimes get gray hair.”
He said being a dad can be stressful too, which is why dads get gray hair, too. Then he said, “Even though I’m a dad, my hair isn’t gray. But I’d be OK if I had gray hair. I’m glad to have hair of any color just as long as it doesn’t fall out.” (Kim’s hair is a wispy brown).
Out of the blue, one of the five year old boys asked a question only a five year old can ask, “Do you dye your hair?”
The crowd erupted. Why? It was a question much of the crowd was thinking, but they didn’t think it was a question that “should be” asked. When that little boy asked that innocent question completely void of Should Bees, it was like a breath of fresh air fanning the crowd.
That five year old could care less about what “should be”. Just hang around young kids for a while and watch how totally spontaneous and genuine they are. They know exactly who they are. Five year old kids have virtually no “Should Bees”.
Because kids have no Should Bees, they are refreshing to be around. They embrace everything that confronts them. They aren’t caught up in what they should or shouldn’t do. They just react to the moment. That’s why they are so happy.
Ask a five year old what they want to be when they grow up. They’ll instantly say a doctor, or a nurse, or a teacher, or an astronaut, or a firefighter. They’ll say it with such certainty and without apology.
Ask someone in mid-career what they want to be when they grow up. You’ll usually get a deer in the headlights look. Instead of the completely unrehearsed response of a five year old, you’ll hear Should Bees.
- “I should be using my college education.”
- “I should have an 8-5 job like everybody else.”
- “I should be more organized.”
- “I should be more artistic.”
- “I should be more focused.”
Often they say simply, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” Living through Should Bees is what keeps the real you from coming out. Should Bees fog the wonderful you that’s hidden beneath.
So, who is the “real you”? Quite simply, it’s the “you” that’s there when your Should Bees are gone. It’s the ten year old in you that’s begging to come out and have fun. It’s what we call your Given Talent.
What is a Given Talent? A Given Talent is the innate part of you that makes you totally unique. You’ve had your Given Talent since you were in grade school, and you are an expert at it. Everybody has a Given Talent, and they are all amazing in their own rights.
I’ll talk a lot more about the concept of Given Talent in my next blog. If you want to get a sneak preview of what a Given Talent is and how to find yours, go to www.stuckinarut.com. I’ll give you a hint… every single activity you love to do (work or play) is linked together through your Given Talent.
Until then, have some fun with just being YOU!!!